South Island
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Hide and seek
Turns out there are many ways to be cryptic, even if you’re not a crossword. Some words don’t mean what you think they mean. Cryptic is an adjective that usually refers to something having a meaning that is obscure – hence the deep and frustrating seam of hard-to-decipher puns mined by the sadists who design…
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Take a punt
It’s all river crossings and holy hops at Tuapeka Mouth. The Tuapeka Mouth Ferry is a hangover, a legacy of the days when Aotearoa’s rivers were a pain in the arse to cross and the iron needed to build bridges was expensive to import. The ferry is said to be the last of its kind…
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Recollections
Allan Uren finds a private collection of wartime memorabilia hidden in a small town basement. Dear Mummy, I hope this letter reaches you without the mark of a censor’s hand. Life here in the trenches could be worse and it’s best not to make a fuss of what you can’t control and just get on…
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How do you like them apples?
The orchards of Southland carry the fruity roots of the region. YOU CAN’T GROW FRUIT TREES IN SOUTHLAND. THAT’S THE CONVENTIONAL WISDOM. MOTHER NATURE WILL BITE, SWALLOWING THEM UP LONG BEFORE THEY ARE READY TO GIVE UP THEIR FRUIT TO PATIENT AND HUNGRY LANDOWNERS. THIS MIGHT BE TRUE OF VARIETIES LIKE GALA AND PACIFIC ROSE,…
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Beginner’s luck
Mark Thomas’ first time up a mountain was bigger than most, but so was the reward. The year was 1994. Summer. I had never climbed a mountain before, though I had done a small amount of rock climbing on the outdoor wall in Moray Place, Dunedin. I knew about Aoraki Mount Cook, but not as…
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In gigs we trust
Queenstown is known as the adventure capital of New Zealand, but thanks to the scene at one community hotel, it’s turning into a live music capital too. PERCHED HALFWAY ALONG FRANKTON ROAD, HIGH ENOUGH ABOVE LAKE WAKATIPU TO SEE THE RIDGELINES OF THE REMARKABLES, SHERWOOD HOTEL IS A SPACE WITH SPUNK. THERE ARE RED VELVET…
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Top of the pit stops
The 1964 guide to our favourite rural, and remote, toilets of the South Island. You may not realise it if you grew up in Aotearoa, but this country does public toilets well. Drive into any small town and you will be greeted by a white-on-blue sign pointing the way jauntily to the loos, conveniently located,…
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Can’t buy me trout
“THERE’S LITERALLY A GODZILLA-SIZED BROWN TROUT LOOKING OVER YOUR SHOULDER, AND YOU’RE TELLING ME NOBODY IN GORE SERVES TROUT AND CHIPS? ISN’T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ‘BROWN TROUT CAPITAL OF THE WORLD’?” MY SERVER GIVES ME A FAMILIAR LOOK. IT SAYS: “YOU’RE NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE, AND MAYBE YOU SHOULD STOP TALKING.” The immense…
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Book Review: Tamatea Dusky
By Peta Carey Tamatea / Dusky Sound is a massive area, virtually uninhabited and rarely explored, despite its widely-regarded natural beauty. Remote and relentlessly buffeted by westerly winds, this archipelago in the southwest corner of Fiordland National Park draws unique, adaptable individuals requiring tenacity and endurance to match the physicality of its landscape and waterways.…